You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
tonight lets celebrate not being married
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
