everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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