Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
