I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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