It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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