Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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