JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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