I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
