Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
