at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
