apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
