So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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