speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
