I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
