Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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