So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Bring me that man meat
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
