just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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