Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
