grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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