she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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