What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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