i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
