honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
