So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
