I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize