Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
