isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
