He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize