Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
