Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He passed out mid-signature
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They have beer where we have blood.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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