Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
