Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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