the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
