HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
