he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize