I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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