Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
a search helicopter?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
