i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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