I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize