how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
