She's JV to your varsity
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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