Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
