Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
