Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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