would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
