She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
