i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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