He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
