I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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