I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
