I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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