i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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