i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
