Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
