im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
