I look better un-naked...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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