I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
