she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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