How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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