Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
