I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
